Scams and shams

A couple of weeks back a large A4 envelope turned up in the post! It was not the usual thickness of a returned manuscript, nor too thin to just enclose a single sheet of paper denoting another rejection. This was thick, cardboardy... this was going to be good. A publishers name printed on the envelope. Hope soared.

I ripped open the envelope, and two think folders were enclosed, emblazoned with 'Publishing Contract'! My heart skipped a beat, a squeal came out. Was this really happening? Oh My God! So quickly! My book must be good!

I did a little dance and skip around the living room. This was incredible.

And then I took the covering letter out and read it.

'Your manuscript was brought to our attention at the latest board meeting when we discussed it's potential...I can confidently state that your children's book was found to be an enjoyable story..'

WOW! Feedback. Fantasist feedback. And then lower down the letter - they couldn't offer me a non-contributory contract, due to the nature of the market, but a 'partnership' was on the cards. If I contributed between £2000 and £3000 and decided if I wanted a paperback or hardback book I would have a deal on my hands. They would look after the printing costs, the marketing, the distribution connections. Just for a small fee from me...

Now I've never heard of authors being asked for money and this automatically put a big red flag up. How would I know whats best in the market- hardback or paperback, surely a publisher would be best placed to make that decision?

So trusty google came to the rescue. Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd! Let's see what the world had to say about them. Article after article, comment feed after feed commenting on them as vanity publishers, taking money to upload your manuscript on to their own website- one that's unlikely to ever even get any views, never mind make your money back or make a profit. A scam essentially. A swindle. Cheating and stealing.

What's great is that my instinct and gut told me if it's too good to be true it is- what's even better is that the lovely folk of the internet confirmed my suspicions. But what they didn't steal from my pocket they stole from my soul. The initial thrill and happiness, the delight in the feeling of recognition and success. So now I'll be more careful when I open a thick envelope.

And when they open their thick envelope they'll find a letter that starts like this:

'Thank you for your letter and enclosed contract, after my latest board meeting, where the contents of your paperwork was discussed... I can confidently state that your proposition was found to be utterly ridiculous and a blatant scam...

Meat Party

It's been a little while since I've written on the blog. I'm not losing interest or getting lazy, it's just I don't want to write about any lack of progress or rejections I'm getting. All of which is actually the current status quo
! But as I've written before, nothing worth doing comes easy, so I'm here waiting patiently for that one elusive agent to give me the green light. In the meantime I'm still trying to network and spread the message about my book. You just never know when it may fall onto the right ears. Like over the weekend Halo and Flake got invited to a BBQ- well I did too, but I'm sure they were the main intended guests.

Of course they RSVP'd and made their way over to Acton, London for a glorious party in the garden of a great friend of mine. We came with our shopping bag full of ciders, cheesecake, limes, snacks and dips. Despite the promises of rain and clouds the day turned out to be fantastic. Hot sun graced us with it's presence, and my sister and I lit the fire whilst the boys wondered around the garden sniffing nooks and crannies. This is the first time in 28 years I've ever lit a fire. I don't know if you'e ever used a BBQ that doesn't belong to you, but let me tell you, it's hard work. Grills that don't fit the pit, chicken that burns on contact, burgers falling into the fire.But despite the issues I found solutions to our problems, all I had to do was look around. I wondered over to the oven and got the rack out, I found a fish fry net, unfolded it and spread it across the giant expanse of the pit to add height, and hey presto, burgers didn't fall in any longer, chicken remained a lovely brown. So what I'm trying to say is, whatever difficulties you have, no matter the urgency, something can always be done. You don't have to be a hero and save the grilled meat, but certainly doing nothing shouldn't be an option.

So Halo and Flake enjoyed bread-stick crumbs, slivers of chicken and a sneaky piece of cheese. Memories for me, fun for them and inspiration for the next book.

Rejection

So the rejection emails and manuscript returns have started coming in. Two weeks after sending out dozens upon dozens of submissions the very much expected 'Sorry, but this isn't what we are looking for' have started coming in. I can't say I'm not disappointed, it's never nice to see in black and white that you're not good enough, but no one said this would be easy, and a children's book about dogs obviously isn't for everyone.
But what advice or insight can I give you? Only that perseverance pays off- if you plug away enough at something, if you knock on every door and mention in the some obscure situations, something will definitely come of it even if it's not what you imagined in the first place.

So a printed copy of the book was given to a client of mine- a security manager in a well respected and global hotel chain. Not for any other reason then to be nice, and maybe get some feedback. Off he went and gave my little treasure to his little treasures! They read it, and I'm told were delighted with the story. Now this kind gentleman calls to say that his children liked it so much he will try and get his hotel chain to take a bulk order of books (subject to a tweak here and there to mention their name) to give away as goody bags for their young clientele. What a dream, just a chance encounter and fingers crossed I will have my first order. What I'm getting at is not gloating that I have some great connections, but simply that you just never know where chances and opportunities can come from. So the moral of this story is that even if things don't work out the way you imagine, know deep down that they will work our even better than you hoped.

And here's wishing us all our very own chance bulk orders in whatever we do!

'I'm afraid this didn't grab me, and I must pass'

'Regretfully, I am unable to offer you my services'

'Many thanks but not for our list'

'My client list is currently full'

Printed

The book has been printed! OMG! It's getting closer! Well it hasn't been printed by a publisher or an agent but I've gone and ordered 50 copies of my own so that I can finally see the fruits of my labour. I've written my covering letter and selected my shortlist of agents. All I need now is the book to arrive and to get a jumbo set of stamps and envelopes. Eeeeek. I'm trying not to set my hopes too high, and prepare myself for rejection, but I love my little book baby and I just can't see why everyone else would't.

Here's a preview of the cover. What do you think?

Does this look like something a child would read? That a parent would pick up and buy? That a publisher would be interested in?

Lets hope so!

Let kids be kids

Today I'm designing the book cover. It's so exciting, it's like putting on new clothes, or getting a haircut, doing makeup or wearing wonderful shoes for the first time. It's a special kind of newness feeling, where you're showing the world how lovely something can be. And this book cover is like all the above, it's the chance to catch someone's eye, to make them look twice, stop and be intrigued.
That's why the pressure is so immense to get it right. This is what will hopefully make a agent stop and pick it up from their mountain of post instead of flinging it to the side... Or so I hope at least... No I'm sure it will. If other people can do it, if Waterstones is packed with books from floor to ceiling with authors that go beyond the extremely talented and lucky JK Rowlings and Roald Dahl then I know that I can get there too. And why not? Why shouldn't it be me? I am just as determined and mindful, I hope I'm talented and I'm certainly driven so it's going to happen. My cover will make it onto shelves, hugging the simple but kind story of Halo and Flake.

Which gets me thinking, Has anyone else noticed how children's stories nowadays are no longer actually aimed at children? With ulterior motives behind their plots, humor aimed for audiences far above the age range the stories were designed for? When did the good old days of innocent adventures of wolves and pigs turn into the multitude of sexual innuendos and characters called Lord Farquaad (fuc*ward)? It's like writers and producers only really do care about lining their pockets and no more about preserving children's 'purity' for a better word.
I don't have kids but I know I wouldn't want my children's heads filled with most of the garbage that's out there now.

Let's go back to the days of when I was little and teach them using dolls and games. Let them have fun cooking, playing with cars, trains and bikes. Let children have memories of making arts and crafts, drawing pictures, playing in the puddles and reading Halo and Flake :)

Emotions

Don't you think it's funny that animals all have their own personalities? I mean real, distinguishable characters- some are naughty, some cheeky, shy, forward, aggressive. But even more subtle then that, they have their own quirks and subtleties. For example Flake and Halo had a guest today. A six month old baby. This little boy can't yet walk and talk but was the bravest little man I've met in a while. He stared in the face of Flake, not flinching, and let me tell you, Flake is considerably bigger than him. He grabbed his ears and confidently looked straight into the doggies eyes, silently saying, I can take you on!

Flake on the other hand desperately tried to woo him, kissing him, nudging him and ultimately trying to have his naughty way with him. All whilst Halo just looked on from afar, chilled and indifferent. Why? Why did one not let a moment pass without showing his affections, whilst the other couldn't care less? How come animals are far more complex then we give them credit for? They have such a wide range of emotions and often are not scared to show them- and all with 100% genuineness. When they're happy they bound and leap, when they're sad they have unblinking watery eyes. Suspicious, curious, angry, guilty, content... Every human emotion we know can be mirrored in animals. All be it some more than others, but I couldn't be more certain that in one way or another they all feel the same as us.

So why don't humans feel so freely like Halo and Flake? How come we don't show our emotions as openly as they do? What is it that people are afraid of revealing. Perhaps a vulnerability or shame..? But why, we all have these feelings and emotions, its obviously just a part of being alive.
So my advice to you today, is don't hide a thing. Laugh as loud as you want, cry as deeply as you need and take a leaf out of Flake's book- show unrestrained and copious amounts of love.

Lone Wolves

The illustrations for the book have been completed. I'm so proud of the story, it's really come to life, but now I'm doubting myself... the artwork hasn't been done by me and right now I feel that these images are even better than the story! So am I technically a fraud by using someone else's talent to make my own better.

This leads me to think- can anyone truly do something alone? Completely unaided by anyone? Well perhaps not do- but succeed? I tried to think of some scenarios where a sole being is able to accomplish and excel all on their lonesome.

Athletics- that's a lone sport. These people use their own will and strength and determination to push their minds and bodies to extremes. Any medals and accolades they win must surely be their own? Nope. Trainers who teach and motivate, mums and dads who finance running shoes and active wear or even nudge their son or daughter awake at 5am for a training session, employers who lets them have days off to complete, therapists who massage sore damaged muscles. This isn't a lone accomplishment. It's a machine, the cogs that helps the wheel to turn.

How about a business owner? They thought of the business, they made their plan, they implemented the processes to get it off the ground, they found a premise or created their online plane... but then what? No business is going to be successful without staff, without customers, without readers, subscribers, promoters, agents. 

So what does this all mean? What it means that we are all intertwined. No matter how much we credit our own success, and by enlarge this is certainly the biggest part of any fruitful venture, we do always need the help of others.

So don't feel guilty to ask for help, don't fret if you scratch someone's back and they scratch yours. 

As I was once told- Don't Work Harder, Work Smarter.

Joy

Momentum. It's a strange word isn't it? Surely derived from Moment- fleeting and brief. And in this day and age it seems that everyone, including me, wants things in a flash. Now, Immediately. Instantly. What I'm getting at is that success or progress apparently needs to have results straight away, otherwise we just give up and move on.
We see in the media overnight celebrities, Instagram models, TV pop stars, YouTube sensations. What we see of their rise to fame and fortune is instantaneous, seemingly from a nobody to a somebody overnight. And when people don't see this reflected in their own lives they are quick to give up and move on to something else. I'm sure that in reality these same people have been plugging away at their trade for months, years, decades. It can only be a tiny few who stumble into a pot of luck and unfortunately these pots are not easily available.

So what we need to do is keep our own momentum moving, No one else will do it for us, No magic fairy will come along and make us an overnight success. For me momentum means keeping up with this blog, the @haloandflake Instagram and Twitter posts, making connections with people in publishing, press, media and advertising, writing more stories, looking for conventions and meetings... i'm determined that no matter how long it takes the Halo and Flake Adventures will be seen by many.

I recently saw a film called Joy. If you haven't seen it I implore you to give it a chance. Hailed as a comedy I wouldn't necessarily agree that it is funny. However what it is, is inspirational. Jennifer Lawrence plays a housewife, who's life seems at a stalemate, divorced and having her estranged husband and her father living in her basement, her mother living in her lounge, kids and a somewhat mean sister has left her feeling low and unfulfilled. As a child she was exceptionally creative, but this creativity was buried with everyday life and it wasn't until she felt at rock bottom did she decide to finally follow her dreams a create a product and business of her own. Let me tell you, she had every knock back, rejection, failure and mishap. She was cheated, duped, betrayed. Forced into bankruptcy and poorly supported by her family. There was every reason, at every turn to give up. But dedication and belief were certainly traits that she had an abundance of. So if you have a dream, a passion and a goal- and are feeling like every turn is going against you, push a little harder and never give up.

Stay dedicated, it's not going to happen overnight.

 And that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.

Cab Rides and Grooming

So nothing seems to have come of the competition! It's sad, but I wasn't holding my breath. I always think at the back of my mind that nothing worthwhile comes easy. And this would have been far too easy, so I plan to create my own luck and push forward with my plan. To keep writing this blog, keep plugging away at the social media, and get every publisher out there to see my work- oh and not forgetting self publish it on my own.

Which reminds me- go follow on twitter @haloandflake to get updates on the critters everyday activities!

So let me just share a little bit of today with you.

Halo and Flake look pretty dishevelled- they last had a groom in November, but don't let this deceive you. They are bathed fully every week, their low hung bellies are washed after every walk, they are brushed and spritzed daily! So it is with surprise that today we were met with such disdain.

Now normally I drive, but due to some apparent mishaps in the showroom, my car has not been delivered on time. This means mostly walking or taking the tube and bus, but today we needed to get a cab. The groomers we go to used to actually be owned by me. I'm not sure if I told you in a previous post that Halo and Flake have single-pawdedly changed the course of my life and one of these such occasions was starting my own grooming parlour.
I was 21, and in a property career I fell into by accident, but always felt, and still do, that I can achieve great things on my own. Well not totally on my own, but certainly not having to work for someone in the traditional sense. Anyway, a fleeting thought about how expensive it is to groom two curly white dogs, I decide- meh, I can do this myself. So whilst keeping down my regular job, my partner and I researched for some suitable premises- a park was necessary nearby. Then a chance talk with the bank to see if a loan was possible. Some google research about grooming products, equipment, and an job advert or two later we somehow did it. Everything folded together and the shop became ours. It wasn't a walk in the park - excuse the pun- we worked 7 days a week, we had dozens of dogs around us and with us. A huge Alsation lived in our tiny one bed flat for weeks at a time, a slobbering hound followed us step for step and knocked our bins over to eat the remnants, a hyperactive spaniel pee'd on our bed and resulted in a long stint sitting in the laundrette watching the duvet spin round! We had no weekends, no holidays and we even roped my sister into working with us.
Eventually, two years later once we'd established the store, got over 300 clients on the books, and became the best groomers around we decided to sell the shop. I'll tell you now that we didn't give it up easily, it was sad, but with happiness the shop is still thriving, and the new (well not so new any more) owners are doing a phenomenal job!

So on our way here this morning, we needed to get a cab. A certain popular chain of cars was called to collect the three of us bright and early. They rhyme with maddison tree! A grubby, uninterested looking chap was sitting waiting with his hazard lights on. I approached him and confirmed who I was and where I wanted to go. Then he saw them. Halo and Flake. It was like I had two rats on a lead not two cute little pooches.
So he started ranting and raving about how I wasn't allowed to transport dogs in a cab, that no one would come next time! He unceremoniously shoved them into the boot and huffed and puffed his way across London.
How sad I felt, sad that this numpty couldn't accept the creatures. They sat like silent little mice, not even making a peep. They were clean from home. They don't slobber and they don't shed hair. I know people who are far filthier and nastier then these animals. In today's society you'd think people would be a bit more open.  Perhaps if he accepted the love of a creature too he wouldn't be quite so miserable!

So Now You Know

So now that you know how Halo and Flake came into my life, and how they enrich every day and provide wonderful inspiration in getting the stories from my head and onto paper. I thought I'd share the current progress in the actual journey of trying to get these books off to computer screen and into the hands of readers.

Well that might be a slight exaggeration for now, no one actually has a copy of the book, and nor is it even on paper yet but here are the steps I've taken to make my dream a reality... if you or anyone you know has been on a similar journey and has any words of wisdom for me please do share. This is first foray into the publishing world and for now I have no success stories, but you never know, maybe in a years time when we read this blog back things may be different.

1. I've written the book! Yes this may seem obvious but several copies of it live on my computer, cloud drive and various peoples emails.
2. I've written this blog! I don't know if anyone is reading it, or if its of interest to anyone so please leave your feedback and let me know!
3. Social media is currently being implemented.My little protagonists post lovely snaps of themselves sitting on park benches, climbing logs and snoozing on the sofa. But ssshhh don't tell anyone it's actually their mum that uploads it all! Visit it at @haloandflake
4. I'm trying to work my way onto the dreaded twitter and Facebook scenarios! I know this will hep my cause a lot but the dreary reality of never getting off my phone to update these fillls me with dread
5. I've posted various adverts and links on third party sites to this blog! Again if you've stumbled upon this and are thinking What The Hell! or hey she's got an interesting perspective- let me know and leave a comment
6. I've entered a competition to be published on Lorraine! I guess you'd need to live in the UK to know but for those of you that don't this is a early morning news/ chat show and it felt like fate when I saw the little snippet detailing their search for the next big thing in children's literature. I don't normally watch morning TV as you'll find me wondering around the parks of London so this seemed like a God send. I've so far not heard back, but hope is the last to die!
7. Oh of course, I almost forgot, despite the multitude of articles suggesting NOT to get a children's book self illustrated, I have not heeded this advice and asked a phenomenal illustrator to bring the story to life. I just can't imagine how someone could see the vision if all they have is half the dream. So here's hoping my investment will pay off

So that's me for now, slowly edging Halo and Flake's adventures through the digital world. If you have any other advice or ideas let me know!

Holidays

So Halo and Flake came into my life, 7 long (and simultaneously) short years ago. I can't remember ever doing anything different as we walk through the snow, rain, drizzle and damp. I delight myself at the simple pleasures of taking them to the park and sitting on the grass.

But Halo and Flake are like my children. And children need variety, even if they are furry and four legged. There's a certain kind of guilt if I go out and leave the house without them. They must be sad. They must be bored of looking at the four same walls.

So I make it my mission to find new places for them to go, so they can see and smell different sights and sounds. This could be as simple as taking them to a cafe, a restaurant (of which there are disturbingly few in London which are dog friendly), the pet shop for Flake to oogle at hamsters and bunnies and even the odd DIY shop. For me, I think they're having fun, but who can really know, they haven't told me yet!

But I digress, what I'm really getting at is the fact that Halo and Flake have actually had many real life adventures, from the simple everyday excursions mentioned above to the doggy orientated holidays they've had in the UK and abroad. These are the very same adventures that inspired and prompted the books I'm writing!

Now I don't want to come off sounding like a batty dog woman, where all I do is stress out about my pets, but animals and their physical and mental welfare really are at the forefront of my mind. What is the point of owning an animal if you're not going to take ownership? So I do all I can to make sure they are happy, and their happiness is also my happiness. So what better than to go on holiday and take my two fur babies. So off we went, we packed the car with all our essentials and zoomed across the Channel bypassing the north of France, skirting around Paris and made our way to the idyllic sights of Reims.

For those of you who do not know this part of France is the Champagne region, glorious vineyards hug the quaint villages and roads and although I am a seasoned traveller and have been all around the world this region really did strike a cord with me and the boys. This I can be sure of as the French are extremely tolerant of our four legged friends. We went everywhere together, from cute boutique restaurants to Michelin star establishments, vineyards, shops and supermarkets. Oh and the pool. Boy did Flake enjoy watching people splash in the pool. Maybe he thought we were those ducks he loves to chase, maybe he wanted to plunge in too, whatever it was his smile was priceless. And that's what it is- its not money or belongings that make you happy. Its the simple things in life like a smiling dog!

Inspiration

The first story was actually easy to write. I have amazing real life inspiration you see. 7 years ago, moving into my first proper 'I'm going to stay here for at least 5 years' flat me and my boyfriend decided we wanted our own little family. No not kids! We were just kids ourselves, so we oo'd and aa'd about a pet. Should we get a cat, they are independent, clean and relatively hassle free. Should we get a rodent- but they need their cages cleaned every week and aren't really the snuggling types... So we decided- dog it is!

Now you should probably know, the both of us were, and still are, very impulsive beings. Where some people would take days, weeks, months to think about a life changing decision, all we needed was an afternoon at the Uni computers to research our very first fur baby. 

Impulsive we were, but rational crept in somewhere, so we decided a dog that stays small doesn't malt and is cute and fluffy? Bichon it was! Rationality stopped there and the very same day we called a breeder in Brighton, and made our appointment. 

Mum, I said, come with me, I'm going to get a dog. Just like that. 

And so with such ease Halo slotted into our lives. We taught him potty training, we hooked him onto playing with tiny tennis balls, running after sticks (but never bringing them back) and so much more. In fact I like to think I taught him the very intellectual and sophisticated manners he has, as well as his dislike for mean people, but that just maybe wishful thinking.

Not long after, we noticed Halo was a little sad and lonesome. We did our best with squeaky chickens, all manners of stuffed crocodiles, monkeys and piglets. But to no avail. What he needed was a friend. 

So just like that, an afternoon of calling around we set off for the somewhat soulless direction of Canary Wharf to buy a puppy. He was already someones, but those someones should have never had a dog. Nuff nuff as I seem to recall was his original name, the poor mite was ferociously being shoved down the back of a sofa by a 5 year old child.

'Give me Halo and you take this one' he demanded.

And with that we gave the family £300 and ran away with both boys.

And that's how it all began, my obsession, love and life journey. With my Halo and my Flake!

The Beginning

You know I've always loved writing! At school my favourite subject was always English, although this is actually my second language and I found it very difficult to learn the order of the alphabet. But once I learnt it, I couldn't be stopped. I used to write poems, taking my little notebooks with me on my summer holidays aged 10, sitting on a Turkish resort balcony looking out I'd write rhyming couplets about fun and sun, the land and sand, trees and bees....

This love of writing led me to start writing a dramatic love story, the days when floppy disks were all the rage, and every night, aged 12 I'd sit down at the gigantic block of a PC and tap away at the keyboard writing about a tragic love of a young lady, a husband who didn't love her and left her alone for days on end in her lonely wooden cabin. A primitive story I concede, but I think it was my creative outlet and a chance to use some of sophisticated words I learnt through my daily reading of books.

       "She lay on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, her wild unruly hair sticking to her lips  and nose as she thought to herself- this is not the life I wanted..."

I'm afraid to say I don't know where this floppy disk was destined to go, it would be amazing to see the fruits of that 12 year old labour. I didn't finish this masterpiece, school work took over, and essays and coursework took priority, but my love of writing has never diminished so now, my 27 year old self has taken up my life passion once more, and combined with my other big love- animals- to try and publish my very first children's book.

This book aims to teach children not only that dogs, particularly Mister Halo and Mister Flake are the coolest little explorers in the planet, but throws in some useful information which should hopefully lead to more questions and stimulate their inquisitive minds.

So come along and follow me as I share my journey of trying to get my book published, no doubt the struggle will be real, but although I'm now 15 years late in getting the first one off the ground, this time I'm determined- oh and there's no coursework in the way!